[Verse 1]
Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're cozy and clingin'
Well, sir, all I can say is
If I were a bell I'd be ringin'
From the moment we kissed tonight
That's the way I've just gotta behave
Boy, if I were a lamp I'd light
Or if I were a banner I'd wave

[Verse 2]
Ask me how do I feel
Little me with my quiet upbringin'
Well, sir, all I can say is
If I were a gate I'd be swingin'
And if I were a watch I'd start
Poppin' my spring
Or if I were a bell I'd go
Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding

[Muted Trumpet Solo]

[Verse 3]
Yes, I knew my morale would crack
From the wonderful way that you looked
Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack
Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked
[Verse 4]
Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we're fondly caressin'
Pal, if I were a salad
I know I'd be splashin' my dressin'
Or if I were a season
I'd surely be spring
Or if I were a gate I would swing
Have a fling, almost any old thing
Or if I were a bell I'd go
Ding, dong, ding, dong
Ding, dong, ding, dong
Ding, dong, ding, ding, dong