[FIRST GIRL, spoken]
Is it true what I hear?

[SECOND GIRL, spoken]
Oh, my dears

[THIRD GIRL, spoken]
What?

[FIRST GIRL, spoken]
Oh, nothing
Nothing much, that is

[FIRST GIRL]
A pity

[SECOND GIRL]
A pity

[THIRD GIRL]
Poor Amy

[FOURTH GIRL]
Poor Kitty

[FIRST GIRL]
But of course you've all heard?
[OTHER GIRLS]
No, tell us, tell us, tell us

[FIRST GIRL]
Well, I promised I'd never breathe a word

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Oh!

[FIRST GIRL, spoken]
However

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Yes?

[FIRST GIRL]
It seems that two young ladies
Went visiting two chaps

[OTHER GIRLS]
Went visiting two chaps

[FIRST GIRL]
Went visiting perhaps
Behaving in a manner
That can hardly be condoned
Unchaperoned!
[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Oh!

[VARIOUS GIRLS]
Unchaperoned
Unchaperoned
Unchaperoned (What a shame)
Unchaperoned (Would you)
Unchaperoned (Imagine it)
Unchaperonеd (In all your life)
Unchaperoned (Of thеse well-brought-up girls?)

[FIRST GIRL, spoken]
And suddenly

[FIRST GIRL]
Old Spettigue, their guardian
Arrived upon the scene

[OTHER GIRLS]
Arrived upon the scene

[FIRST GIRL]
So crafty and so mean

[SECOND GIRL]
But standing there to greet him
Like a potted rubber plant
[OTHER GIRLS]
Who?

[SECOND GIRL]
Charley's aunt!

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Who?

[VARIOUS GIRLS]
Who's Charley's aunt?
Who's Charley's aunt?
Who's Charley's aunt? (I don't know)
Who's Charley's aunt? (I never)
Who's Charley's aunt? (Heard of her)
Who's Charley's aunt? (In all my life)
Who's Charley's aunt? (I wonder who she—)

[THIRD GIRL, spoken]
Wait! I know!

[THIRD GIRL]
It's Charley Wykeham's aunt, Lucia
Slightly off her track
Those chaps the girls went visiting today

[THIRD GIRL, spoken]
Were Charley and Jack

[OTHER GIRLS]
Oh, tell us, tell us, tell us

[THIRD GIRL]
No, I swore that my silence wouldn't crack

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Oh

[THIRD GIRL, spoken]
Well

[THIRD GIRL]
Charley Wykeham's aunt was there
To be the chaperone
But somehow she went wandering away
And left them alone

[FOURTH GIRL]
I know, I know, I saw him, I heard him

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Who?

[FOURTH GIRL]
Spettigue

[OTHER GIRLS]
Spettigue? Where?

[FOURTH GIRL]
Under the window, singing

[OTHER GIRLS]
Singing?

[FOURTH GIRL]
"Lucia, Lucia
You stand at your window and smile
Lucia, Lucia
Oh, please ask me in for a while
Lucia, Lucia"

[SOME GIRLS]
We saw Jack proposing to Kitty

[OTHER GIRLS]
They saw Jack proposing to Kitty
What die he say to her?
What did she answer?

[SOME GIRLS]
"My darling, my darling
I fluttered and fled like a starling
My courage just melted away"

[FIFTH GIRL, spoken]
I remember now

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
What?

[FIFTH GIRL, spoken]
Just this afternoon

[OTHER GIRLS]
We heard Charley
Saying this to Amy

[VARIOUS GIRLS]
"Marry me" ("Make a miracle, I")
"Marry me" ("Horseless carriages, I")
"Marry me" ("Can't believe it, no, I")
"Marry me" ("Heating cottages, I")
"Marry me" ("Can't believe it, no, I")
"Marry me" ("Can't believe it")

[FIRST GIRL]
A pity

[SECOND GIRL]
A pity

[THIRD GIRL]
Poor Amy

[FOURTH GIRL]
Poor Kitty

[SECOND GIRL]
But of course you've all heard

[OTHER GIRLS]
No, tell us, tell us, tell us

[SECOND GIRL]
Well, I promised I'd never say a word

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Oh

[SECOND GIRL, spoken]
Oh well

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Yes?

[SECOND GIRL, spoken]
It's Spettigue

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Spettigue?

[SECOND GIRL]
He'll never let them marry
Their money's in his hands

[OTHER GIRLS]
Their money's in his hands

[SECOND GIRL]
And that's the way it stands
He loses all their money
If they take the marriage vow

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Shh!

[OTHER GIRLS]
Here they come
Here they come
Shh!
Here they come now!

[OTHER GIRLS, spoken]
Shh!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha