[Verse 1: Dan Lord]
I'm sick of only making peanuts
I'm sick of stale sandwich bread
I've got a plan to make it better
And it begins with a simple punch to my head

[Verse 2]
Another count and I'm down but I'm wearing him down
Keeping the faith that I've got what it takes
Deride my pride but I'll be alright
I've got a Rocky II lunchbox with bills in it
And I'll scrape by

[Pre-Chorus]
I have seen this on some episode
Of Maude, Fish, CHiPs, or the White Shadow
Rerun in my mind a thousand times
Though I forget the channel

[Verse 2]
But I am back in my corner with ice packs and water
The champ's right hook changing my good side to bad
Too late to make a run for the van
The doc leans in timidly asking about my health plan

[Pre-Chorus: Lord, Mark "Pose" Milewicz]
I can see the referee wants to go home
Homey's got a wife and family
And my detractors clap their hands and blow their smoke
Headline news in next day's sports page
With every second that goes by
I don't mind my swollen eyes

[Chorus: Lord, Pose, Lord & Pose]
Cause I bet on myself and I'm makin' a killing
My opponent planned victory, I planned to lose
My bookie is cryin', my wife thinks I'm dyin'
But I've got a nest egg that's hatching in the final round

[Verse 3: Lord, Pose]
And as I fall to the floor I don't feel so hardcore
My teeth swinging loose like a drunk girl's caboose
My boys in the corner are pensive and somber
(Stand down!)
And Father O'Reilly is crossing himself more and more

[Pre-Chorus: Lord, Pose]
I can see the referee wants to go home
(Ba-da-da-da-da)
Homey's got a wife and family
And my detractors clap their hands and blow their smoke
(Ba-da-da-da-da)
Headline news in next day's sport's page
(Ba-da-da-da-da, da)

With every second that goes by
(Extra, extra, read all about it!)
I don't mind my swollen eye
[Chorus: Lord, Pose, Lord & Pose]
Cause I bet on myself and I'm makin' a killing
My opponent planned victory, I planned to lose
My bookie is cryin', my wife thinks I'm dyin'
But I've got a nest egg that's hatching in the final round

[Bridge: Lord, Pose]
And the room spins round and round
(And the room spins round and round)
(The room spins round and round)
Yeah

[Pre-Chorus]
The victory party's at my place
After my loss and my disgrace
[?]

[Chorus: Lord, Pose, Lord & Pose]
Cause I bet on myself and I'm makin' a killing
My opponent planned victory, I planned to lose
My bookie is cryin', my wife thinks I'm dyin'
But I've got a nest egg that's hatching in the final round
Roh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh

[Refrain: Lord, Lord & Pose]
You should've never come back
Never come back
Never come back
Oh-ay-ay
Never come back
Never come back
Never come back
Oh-ay-ay-oh-oh-oh
[Spoken segment: "Howard Cosell"]
"Unbelievable. Never in recorded history has one man been beaten, no, POUNDED so badly by another
(Whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh)
The opponent, slugging, paralyzed by the champ. The crowd still angrily chanting. When he stepped into the ring
(He shoulda never come back, no way)
He could have had no idea he'd be facing apocalypse
(Oh, oh, oh)
One can't help but wonder, "Why?"
A loss of Biblical proportions."