[Intro: Legz Diamond, Shaggy 2 Dope]
From Southwest Detroit, deep within Zug Island's industrial
Waste depositories, it's Shaggy Time!
*Cheering*
Hey! How ya doin' down there? I've got mice here! Alright!

[Verse 1: Shaggy 2 Dope, Jamie Madrox]
What up y'all? Welcome to the show
I'm Shaggy, like you don't fuckin' know
This is my sidekick, Fat Pat
He goes "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!", and all of that (That's right!)
Anyhow, on my way here I almost died
This bitch in front of me was like a hundred and five
They worry about drunks, and late night truckers
Old ass bitches try to kill mutherfuckers! (Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!)
This lady's got her left blinker on for an hour or more (Yeah?)
Then she makes a right into my side door
This comedy shit's gettin' old
The game is to be sold, not to be told, ooh (Yeah)
You can feel the excitment right? (Yeah?)
Snoop Dogg is with us tonight!
Hahaha! That's what I'm sayin'
On the Shaggy Show, shit we ain't playin' (Hell naw)
And that ain't it (What?), also on the show (Who?)
Another motherfucker that well, some of you know (Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!)
You see him with me a lot, he's like a brother
Violent J's in this motherfucker!
[Interlude: Shaggy 2 Dope, Jamie Madrox, Mike E. Clark]
I like that kid Violent J
Hey Mike! (What's up?)
How ya doin' today? (Just great Shags!)
That's great, now let's give a hand
To Mike E. Clark and the Gangsta Fun Band!
*Cheering*
We'll be right back with Violent J!

[Interlude: Legz Diamond, Jamie Madrox]
Do your homies have money? Are you broke? (Yeah)
Do bitches look at you like some kind of joke? (Straight up!)
There's nothing you can do except get your PHD
(Playa hata's degree?) That's right! (Aw hell yeah!)
Player Haters Academy, located on Wellfarm, in Detroit
Offers the finest in player hation tactics
Yeah that's right! Such as the bitch hater:
Hey man, fuck that fine ass bitch! Or the look shooker:
Yo bitch I might be ugly, at least I ain't got no money!
Or the never ending shooting star:
Just 'cause he got a car he wanna be drivin' that bitch!
Get your PHD and join a nation of player hation (Word up!)
*Cheering*

[Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J, Jamie Madrox]
Okay, my first guest, he's nutty as hell
He just served a half a year in the county jail (Uh-huh?)
Now he's back, for now at least
Hey Violent J's in this bitch ass piece!
What up y'all? (Whaddup?) What's happenin'?
It's been six months and my dick ain't havin' it (Uh-uh)
If I don't hurry up (Uh), and get me some ass
I might bust this nut on your TV glass! (Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!)
Anyway (Yup), been workin' on my brand new shit (Uh-huh?)
A brand new group with my homies Twiztid
It's called Dark Lotus, should I play some for y'all?
(Hell yeah!) Hell naw, bitch
Now I been hearin' a little of this and that (Uh-huh?)
About you havin' some kind of a panic attack (Right)
Tell us, um, is it true?
And when you have one, what the fuck do you do?
Well, I'll be sittin' there enjoyin' a coffee
And then all of a sudden, I'm like "Get off me!" (Hehehehe!)
Then I start chokin' out pedestrians
Until they give me my shot of calliphilestrian (Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!)
But that's all over now, it's old hat (Yeah)
I'm a perfectly normal necrophiliac (Aaugh!)
Just don't test me or pull strings, forget it!
I might grab your neck and do bad things with it
Well on that note, thank you J (Sure), for real
What's up with poppin' one of those Soloquium pills? (Ha! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!)
Take your ass backstage and relax (I'm straight)
Snoop Dogg is comin' up next!
[Interlude: Shaggy 2 Dope]
*Cheering*
Stay right here, we'll be right back!

[Interlude: Jamie Madrox]
I like my chili hot. As a matter of fact I like my chili so Goddamn hot that you can cook a hog's ass in a spoonful
When a workin' man such as myself wants a little hot fixin', I'll reach for that bottle of momma's God Damn Hot Chili
Smooth tender chunks with chili beans filled with momma's hot bastard, bacon bits, and drizzled with just the right amount of thick savory sauce
Drippin' with noodle nuggets and Texas tough onions
Mm-mmm, that's hot, God Damn Hot. Ask for it by name
*Cheering*

[Verse 3: Shaggy 2 Dope, Snoop Dogg]
Thanks fellas! Alright, yo, we're back!
My next guest pioneered a sound in rap
He's come a long way from the LBC
Please, welcome Snoop D-O-double G!
*Cheering* Look up in the sky, it's a bird it's a plane
It's the big dog y'all, fuckin' with the Insane
Clowns, get down, n***a, I represent the town
Ayo, Violent J let's go half on this pound
I stay gangsta like fun, I dropped a bomb
They call me Snoop Dogg and I can raise your arm
So any MC that disagree with me (What?)
Step up and watch your motherfuckin' ass meet defeat
Snoop? (What?) Now you got platinum on your walls
While other fools stare and scratch their balls (Whut?)
They wanna be like you, they wanna try to steal your flow
Now! (Whaddup?) Yo, why is that so?
It's like everywhere I look, yeah, and everywhere I go
With some bitch ass n***a tryin' to steal my flow (Biatch!)
But I don't pay 'em no attention (Uh-uh), oh, should I mention? (Whut?)
I'm all about the money and ridin' in cars with suspension
Bouncin' (N***a), bankin' up corners smokin' dope (Whut?)
Smokin that weed, hangin' out with my locs (Whaddup?) and folks (Whaddup?)
Don't give a fuck about nothin' at all (Why?)
That's why I'm known to the world as big motherfuckin' Snoop Dogg (Ah!)
[Outro: Shaggy 2 Dope, Snoop Dogg, Violent J, Jamie Madrox]
*Cheering*
N***a
Snoop Dogg everybody!
Now we gotta bring a close to the party! (Already? What?)
Thanks Violent J (Sure), my loc
And thanks Snoop for that bag of smoke (Get down)
Join us next time for the show!
We'll have that one bitch from Letters to Cleo (Great!)
That's it for now, I'm out this bitch
Ayo, Gangsta Fun! Show 'em how you got rich!
*Cheering*