[Verse 1]
Ever since I was a young boy, I loved to shoot the ball
From Detroit down to Houston, I've battled one and all
But there's one kid I'll never beat, I don't know what he's called
This big dumb redneck dude sure plays a mean paintball

[Verse 2]
I don't care how much I practice, he can beat my best
He wears these homemade goggles and protective vest
He must live in the country, he's always saying "y'all"
That big dumb redneck kid sure plays a mean paintball

[Chorus 1]
He's a paintball wizard, he has to be a trick
A paintball wizard, he's one sharpshooting hick

[Post-Chorus]
How do you think he does it? (I don't know)
He must practice a lot

[Verse 3]
The stinging of a paintball, he has never felt
But if you play against him, he'll cover you with welts
He's got crazy trigger fingers and spotless overalls
That big dumb redneck kid sure plays a mean paintball
[Chorus 2]
He's a paintball wizard, he has to be a twist
A paintball wizard, wears wristbands on his... wrist

[Outro: Spoken]
Alright, I put my gun down, dude, I'm, I'm done. Don't sh- don't, don't sh-, don't shoo-OW! OW! OH, DUDE! I told you! I told you to quit! Oh, and it's so uncool! Oh, don't shoot me bro! Don't - OWW!