Eminem
Hack The Planet (Freestyle)
[Verse 1]
I'm the type to hack PornHub just to edit your face in
Then email the link to your grandma with a faith hymn
Fuck cancel culture, I cancel servers
With a flow so filthy, my mic got herpes and murder charges
I crashed NASA just to tweet "suck my dick"
From a Mars rover live, while I’m taking a shit
I spit malware mixed with meth in a blender
Download my mixtape — now your phone's transgender
Click my linktree, bitch, I dare ya
Your whole screen'll freeze up, playin’ gay porn of your parents
I ain't rappin' for respect, I'm rappin' to wreck
I hacked 23AndMe and swapped your DNA with a tech deck
I'll log into your life, dеlete your ex's nudеs
Then auto-send 'em to your job as a PowerPoint, dude
[Verse 2]
Got a VPN wrapped around my penis
Encrypted my dick pics so even Jesus can’t see this
I’m a black hat lunatic, crude and ruthless
I wrote this whole verse with my nuts on a Rubik's
Cube while I brute force your mom’s old Yahoo
Just to print out her emails and wipe my ass too
You a SoundCloud rapper? I'm a Soundcloud R.A.P.E. kit
Put a Trojan on your beat and then skeet on your playlist
Deepfakes of me fuckin' Siri in the Matrix
While Alexa watchin' with a vibrator and a vape hit
Fuck a beat, I’ll beat off on your Logic session
Then burn it to a CD and sell it to your reverend
I'm the reason ChatGPT got trauma
I taught Siri how to queef and Google how to swallow
So don't talk code unless you talk Shady
I'm the glitch that got banned from the dark web for bein' too crazy
[Verse 3]
Yo, I'm unstable like Wi-Fi on meth
Laced with ketamine and 5G breath
You got beef? I'll inject it in your flesh
Digitally slit your throat with a PDF
Upload your soul to a fucked-up forum
With anime avatars and furry orgies adorin'
Then crash your Zoom call with my dick out yellin'
“I'm your dad now, bitch! Call me Reddit Rebellion!”
I'm that virus that talks back, snorts crack
Sticks a thumbdrive in your mom's ass and formats
Shady ain't changed — still deranged
Still got a MySpace full of rage and dick pics named
"Dear Stan 2" with a USB noose
Hacked Heaven, and now God's blocked on Bluetooth
I'm a data breach with an 8-inch reach
That'll leave your hard drive fucked like Catholic priests
[Outro]
Yeah...