[Verse 1]
I've never had a filling and I've got blue eyes
I've got every kind of lipstick you can buy
I've got three cupboards for my shoes
And a mirror that always tells the truth
I've got clothes in case it's hot
Clothes for when it's cold
But still, I don't know what to wear
What to wear tonight

[Verse 2]
I've got the concentration of a small child
Patience - well, not all the time
A wounded look and a silly smile
That always gets me what I want

[Verse 3]
I've got a garden, but it has no grass
It's got plastic chairs and the table's glass
My cat at home thinks it's a dog
And who am I to judge if that's all?

[Verse 4]
I've got a lot of cards on my shelf
Everyone of them written to myself
I've got a million pounds in the bank
(Don't be silly, you haven't been to a bank in your life)
[Verse 5]
Well, there's a woman next door who robbed a bank
A man upstairs who likes to drink
And sing to us at three in the morning

[Verse 6]
I've got five best friends, two parents and a brother
And a man at home who likes to think
That every song's written for him
So this one's for you