[Peter]
They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this

[Brian]
They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss

[Stewie]
And they'll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss

[Peter, Brian, & Stewie]
It's the plain situation
There's no negotiation

[Peter]
With the fellows at the freaking FCC

[Brian]
They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups

[Peter]
Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troops

[Stewie]
Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops

[Peter, Brian, & Stewie]
Take a tip, take a lesson
You'll never win by messin'
[Peter]
With the fellas at the freakin' FCC
And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing
You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling
Cause you can't say penis
So they sent this little warning, they're prepared to do their worst

[Brian]
And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be coerced

[Stewie]
I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first

[Peter, Brian, & Stewie]
They may just be neurotic
Or possibly psychotic
They're the fellas at the freakin FCC!