[Chorus]
You don't have to hire a wino
I'll give you mine for free
The one I've got, I'll pass him on
He'll suit you to a tee
He's genuine, experienced
Been qualified for years
He's a real heartbreaker
Who can guarantee you tears

[Verse 1]
There's beer cans in the bedroom
The kitchen and the hall
Liquor bottles on the shelf
Summer winter spring and fall
Our car is in the driveway
With kids from front to back
All caused by celebratin'
With a bottle or 6-pack

[Chorus]
You don't have to hirе a wino
I'll give you mine for free
The onе I've got, I'll pass him on
He'll suit you to a tee
He's genuine, experienced
Been qualified for years
He's a real heartbreaker
Who can guarantee you tears
[Verse 2]
The carpet on the floor is stained
The table tops are burned
The mattress has caught fire
Still he shows no concern
I've even sported black eyes
Every now and then
And each time that I'd wanna leave
He'd beat me up again

[Chorus]
You don't have to hire a wino
I'll give you mine for free
The one I've got, I'll pass him on
He'll suit you to a tee
He's genuine, experienced
Been qualified for years
He's a real heartbreaker
Who can guarantee you tears

[Verse 3]
Our bank account is overdrawn
Our bills are all past due
Our landlord has notified
That we must move out too
You don't need to hire a wino
I'll give you mine for free
Call 783-2649
And ask to talk to me