"Oh, how delicious!" the Pig Boy squealed
As another rush of pure pain came over him
Then Pig Boy declared
"This is what Pig Boy truly lives for
Pig Boy shall wallow
And sing in the mud and the blood
If only Pig Boy's eyes could be eaten by ants
If only Pig Boy could postpone joy forever
If only Pig Boy could become Bacon Boy
Pig Boy is tired of the struggle."

Just then Farm Boy came
And chopped off Pig Boy's head
As Farm Boy ate the bacon
He began to feel queasy
"Say, Ma," said Farm Boy
"Are you sure this pork was prepared properly?"
"Why, of course I'm sure, Junior," Ma quickly replied
"Why would I want to poison my only child?"

Just then Farm Man burst through the door
Followed by the baby Jesus
"I think you're evading the issue again, Martha"
The big burly man shouted accusingly
"And I think it's about time someone taught you a lesson or two"
"You tell 'em, Dad," said Farm Boy
Who by this time was rolling on the floor in agony
Farm Man stomped the boy into the ground
Walked over to the stove and turned on the gas
He would have lit a cigarette
But he didn't have any
He had never smoked in his life
And this was no time to start (no time to start!)

He stared coldly into Martha's understanding eyes
Farm Man began to weep
And he asked Martha if she wanted to go to a movie

They went to see Salò
They loved it so much
That they sat through it twice (Farm, farm!)
Completely forgetting the baby Jesus (Farm, farm!)
Who was accidentally locked in the broom closet
And slowly suffocated (Farm, farm!)