[Verse 1]
Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they’re pregnant

Effing son of a gun
You think you’re so deep now
You give me the creeps
Now that you’re pregnant

I can’t count all the ways how
You speak in clichés now

[Skit]
G: So, do you want a boy or a girl?
O: Oh, doesn't matter as long as it's healthy
G: Really? 'Cause I don't feel like those two things are related at all. It's not like one or the other
O: No, no, no, no, as long as it's healthy, hm!

[Verse 2]
I can’t wait to hear someone say
Don’t care if it’s brain-dead
Don’t care if it’s limbless
If it has a penis

'Cause pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they’re pregnant
This zen world you’re enjoying
Makes you really annoying

[Skit]
G: So, is it a boy or a girl?
O: Oh, we know, but we're not telling
G: What are you gonna name it?
O: Oh, we know, but we're not telling
G: Who's the father?
O: Oh, we know... but we're not... telling...

[Verse 3]
Bitch, I don’t really care
I was being polite now
Since you have no life now
That you’re pregnant

You say you’re walking on air
You think that you’re glowing
But you had been ho-ing
And now you’re pregnant

You’re just giving birth now
You’re not Mother Earth now

[Skit]
G: Yeah, I have a lot going on. I got my degree, I moved, I wrote a novel--
O: Gosh, everything just seems so trivial now that I'm pregnant
G: I also built a nuclear fusion reactor
O: You know, I can't even remember what I did before I was pregnant. Everything just seems so meaningless, hm!
[Outro]
Pregnant women are smug
Everyone knows it, nobody says it
Because they’re pregnant

Effing son of a gun
You think you’re so deep now
You give me the creeps now
Now that you’re pregnant