[EMMA]
Mum, I've got a lot to tell you
Me and Joe have had a bust up
This will be the last letter
With a postmark stamped N.Y. 

I've met a film producer
Please don't laugh, his name is Sheldon
He's what the people here all call
A real together guy

He is off to California
And he wants me to go with him
Oh, thanks for your last letter
I was thrilled to hear from you

The pictures of Aunt Edna
Are all absolutely lovely
And incidentally
Sheldon's mum loves Mantovani, too

Mum, you must ignore thе neighbors
You can't stop Cassius barking
You'll become a nеrvous wreck, love
Just by listening to them
Sheldon has a house in Bel Air
Well, it's really a pink mansion
It's got electric gates and armed guards
And he calls it "La Bohème"

Sheldon has a lot of meetings
Well, he's terribly ambitious
He's working on a musical
'Bout Rommel as a boy

Tell Dad I will be livid
If you spend two weeks in Folkestone
I know that La Bohème's a place
That you will both enjoy