[WOMAN]
Funny
Always thought of you as my girlfriend
I just can't believe you could come in here and say all these things
Let me finish, you must let me finish

Thank you
Thanks for bringing me up to date, dear
Didn't know you knew all the ins and outs of my private life
Let me finish, you must let me finish

Let's talk about you
A minute or two
What tart is your husband keeping
Where's he sleeping?
Can't you say?
Let's talk about men
You're at it again!
I hear that you need a bed full for those dreadful games you play

How dare you come in here wagging your wicked tongue?
Your cheeks are red, my dear
You look like you've been stung
I know my life's a mess
But I think you're the worst thing in it
Wait a minute
Let's talk about you
Because you never do
You just couldn't wait to blurt out all that dirt out in my face
Let's talk about pills and illegal thrills
I hear that the habit's gripped you and you've tripped to every place
Does it make you feel good
Knowing that I feel bad?
Yes, knowing you it would
You must be very sad
You can't know how I feel
But my friend you're about to learn how it's my turn now…

Let's talk about booze
And how much you use
What time do your kids start drinking?
Am I sinking low as you?

Yes, he knows lots of girls, he likes his fun
Hi, I'm glad he's got lots and not just one
How's that fat little man?
Was it one more affair?
Where are you going?
Why are you running away from me?
Are you absolutely sure you don't want to stay for tea?