Ahem, excuse me, I'm new here, how do you do this?
My sword's too big, it's a burden to move
Is this normal? I'm getting awful blisters
Ouch, why does my sidekick have paws and whiskers?
I never was much of a hunter
Don't want any fresh air, much less a sunburn
But I just heard pests are in excessive numbers
Except they're not vermin, they're all monsters
Now the fifth fleet needs me to come tag in?
I'd rather kick back, drink mead by the flagon
I've never seen a beast, forget defeat elder dragons
My weapon's heavy, I bet that's why my feet have been dragging
I'm no Frodo Baggins, already wanna go home
I feel like David fighting Goliath without any stones
Agh! Close call but I dodged and rolled
I just saw that monster swallow another one whole

With fearsome fangs and claws
I'll tear you limb from limb
To fight free from my jaws
You must unleash your beast within

Yikes!
If I gotta do this, I gotta start small
Zorah Magdaros, that'll be the long haul
Tracked down a Pukei-Pukei, felt bad for him though
When I cut his tail off, wailed on him, smashing his skull
He had his back to the ropes, I loved the action so
I challenged a Ratholos, my ass was toast
Carted off by my Palico, back to camp
Grabbed a lotion and a potion, and went back again
I've been trekking with my weapon, guess I'm getting the hang of it
I built a bone hammer, you could say that I'm nailing it
Plus a drum made of lightning 'cause I wanted to play with it
Rip out a monster collar bone and sharpen my blade with it
I'm a proud hunter now, and I see the appeal
I get prepare in Astera before eating a meal
I tend to ignore how little sympathy that I feel
Whenever executing a creature and hearing it squeal
I wonder how many calories did I burn
Driving out the line of fire from a wyvern
I wacked Anjanath in the face, he's limping away
I couldn't help giggling when I splintered his legs
And then I'll let him decay after I get what I came for
Wait, maybe I'm getting a little carried away? No
I'm here to take names and break necks
Oh shit, did I just wake up the apex?
You've stirred my appetite
You sword will shatter on my skin
I'll hack and slash and bite
Will you unleash your beast within?

Come on scout flies, make proud guys
Find their hiding spot and I'll stomp out lives
It's about time to climb up and mount spines
Smack 'em down, laugh out loud, while they writhe around dying
It's the thrill of the hunt, still bubbling in my blood
I get a little pumped up when I kill 'em for fun
And then I carve up their carcasses for parts
Their claws and jaws could make great armor - smart
Just a few more scales, a carapace
A Great Jagras mane, a Girros fang
Some Legiana plates, a Barroth scalp
Add Radobaan shell, all kinds of hides and pelts
And then I'll tear the talons right out of your toes
Oh no, Anjanath I got your nose bone
I get such a rush whenever I'm cutting 'em up
So make like Diablos, go back under the mud
Because you're bigger but you're nowhere on my level though
You can choke on your tail, Deviljho
Call me Kula-La Ku, I'm running circles on you
I take a Michael Jordan leap and treat your head like a hoop
Now tell the Commission, I've picked up the addiction
'Cause I'm ripping up monsters and I call it a living
Don't matter if you're thick-skinned, quick, strong or limber
I'll hit ya where it hurts till I call out "Timber!"
Have mercy on my soul
I will surrender at your hands
I'll hunt you to your home
And slaughter all your monster friends