Jimmy Bean was a funny lookin' fella'
If he had another mouth he'd look much wella'
But his face
Cleared him
From winning the beauty show
It was like a steam boat funnel
Or a railway arch, or the blackwall tunnel
If you can't see Jim when he opens his mouth you'll know

And as poor jim goes walking about
You can hear the kids all hollerin' out
What?
What? oh erm..
What a mouth!
What a mouth!
What a north and south
Blimey what a mouth he's got
Now when he was a baby lord oh lummee!
His poor old mummy used to feed him with a shovel
What a gap
Poor chap
He's never been known to laugh
'cos if he did it's a penny to a quid that his mouth would fall in 'alf