[Verse 1]
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It's based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job
So I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer!

[Verse 2]
It's a dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn't understand
His son is working for the Daily Mail
It's a steady job
But he wants to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
Paperback writer, paperback writer

[Verse 3]
It's a thousand pages, give or take a few
I'll be writing more in a week or two
I could make it longer if you like the style
I can change it 'round
And I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

[Verse 4]
If you really like it you can have the rights
It could make a million for you overnight
If you must return it you can send it here
But I need a break
And I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer
[Outro]
Paperback writer, paperback writer
Paperback writer, paperback writer
Paperback writer, paperback writer
Paperback writer, paperback writer
Paperback writer