Where the fuck are my homies all at?
The Bar None Dude Ranch, that's where it's at
Get away from my motherfucking job
Accounting is shit, yeah, it's time to move on
I love pussy and I can't get enough
Moving out West where there's so much to fuck
Ride a horse, fuck a cactus all night
Find the devil in the desert, and that's all right

My kid wants to skateboard but he can't in the sand
I told that piece of shit, he's gotta be a man
A beast named Cassie, a motherfucking dog
Hire four hot teens and watch 'em all fuck
The spurs in my boots go clickety-clack-clack
Feeling kind of horny and I wanna smoke crack
I'm Ben Ernst, I got a real big cock
Fuckin' king of the ranch
I'm gonna stay on top

Hey, Hey Dude
C'mon
Hey, Hey Dude
Put your lasso in the air
Hey, Hey Dude
C'mon
Hey, Hey Dude
Get on a horse, hear?
Hey, Hey Dude
No fuckin' water in the desert
Hey, Hey Dude
Cowboys ride, cowboys die