[Chorus]
I'd like to say a few words
In defense of our country
Whose people aren't bad
Nor are they mean
Now the leaders we have
While they're the worst that we've had
Are hardly the worst
This poor world has seen

[Verse 1]
Take the Caesars for example
Why, within the first few of them
They were sleeping with their sister
Stashing little boys in swimming pools
And burning down the city
And one of 'em
One of 'em appointed his own horse to be Consul of the Empire
That's like vice president or something
Now wait a minute, that's not a very good example
Here's one: The Spanish Inquisition
Put people in a terrible position
I don't even like to think about it
Sometimes I like to think about it

[Chorus]
Just a few words
In defense of our country
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
We don't want your love
Respect at this point is pretty much out of the question
Times like these
We sure could use a friend
[Verse 2]
Hitler
Stalin
Men who need no introduction
King Leopold of Belgium, that's right
Everyone thinks he's so great
Well, he owned the Congo, and he tore it up too
Took the diamonds, took the silver, took the gold
Know what he left 'em with?
Malaria

[Bridge]
A president once said
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Now, we're supposed to be afraid
It's patriotic, in fact, and color-coded
And what are we supposed to be afraid of?
Why, of being afraid
That's what terror means, doesn't it?
That's what it used to mean

[Verse 3]
You know it pisses me off a little this Supreme Court is going to outlive me
Couple young Italian fellows and a brother on the Court now, too
But I defy you, anywhere in the world
To find me two Italians as tight-assed as the two Italians we got
And as for the brother, well
Pluto's not a planet anymore either
[Outro]
The end of an empire is messy at best
This empire is ending like all the rest
Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea
We're adrift in the land of the brave and the home of the free
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye