[J.J., spoken]
Susie, get the box
Look at this stuff, Sidney

(singing)

Sheet music signed by Berlin and by Kern
For Susan
Bogie sends buckets of love from Lucerne
For Susan
Here’s a lucky star signed by FDR
Groucho’s three dollar bill
Paw prints from Lassie and stills from DeMille
For Susan

‘Round and around in a dress like Snow White
Goes Susan
Waltzing with me on an opening night
Is Susan
I have watched her bloom in this very room
All her nights, all her days
Every report card, a column of A’s
For Susan

Floating like some little Angel
Bringing cocktails on her tray
She’d appear than float... away
“Happy sixteen” from the chief of police
For Susan
Scrawled on a napkin, the work of Matisse
For Susan
This one’s Fred Astaire, “for my lady fair
And my best little chum”
Here in our haven, the whole world has come
To Susan

[SIDNEY, spoken]
I was... just on my way to your office with some items

[J.J., spoken]
Aah, give ‘em here
I’ll phone ‘em in

[SIDNEY, spoken]
Laurence Olivier
Oak Room at the Plaza
Won’t go to Las Angeles
“LA is always three hours behind the time”

[J.J., spoken]
In

[SIDNEY, spoken]
A piano player down in Philly
Item reads “the Richter scale has been sent
In Philadelphia, off the charts
Thanks to an earthquake maker
Named Dallas Cochran”
[J.J., spoken]
In
See ya’ later, Sidney

[SUSAN, spoken]
Goodnight J.J

[J.J., spoken]
No-n-no, don’t go
Keep me company
Dance with me

(singing)

Ever so sweetly the orchestra plays
For Susan
Everyone present has nothing but praise
For Susan
Make your wish of me; I will grant you three
While I ask only one
Just let me do as I always have done
For Susan

(spoken)

Hello, young lady
[SUSAN, spoken]
Hello Mr. Hunsucker

[J.J., spoken]
What wish can I grant?

[SUSAN, spoken]
Oh, Mr. Hunsucker
To be in your call only

[J.J., spoken]
You will be!
You will be!

(singing)

May you ever be in this waltz with me
Making wishes come true

[SUSAN, spoken]
J.J.!

[J.J., spoken]
What is it?

[SUSAN, spoken]
I’m not a little girl anymore!

[J.J., spoken]
Everybody wants me except you!

[SUSAN, spoken]
Goodnight, J.J

[J.J., spoken]
Good luck on your audition

(singing)

There’s someone
I know it
I see it in her eyes
There’s someone
Someone has changed her
Someone all wrong for Susan
There’s someone, some schoolboy
Some pup with a degree
Some actor
Some budding Brando
Mumbling his lines for Susan

Go to your audition
Live your little life
Make a little misstep
And end up the wife of some...
Nothing of a no one, some...
Actor in a play going nowhere
No one! No one! Nowhere!
Keep your little secrets
Close your little door
Have your little boyfriend
Some clown of the chorus
Some chauffeur of a limo
Some gopher at the paper
There’s someone!
I smell it!

But Sidney
He’d tell me
Sidney would tell me
If someone was angling for Susan
For Susan

(spoken)

Madge, warm up the typewriter
I’ve got a fist full of items