[Verse 1]
I can't wear hats, I just get slagged
I get dressed up in plastic bags
For some reason, whatever the season
Bin liner fashion can look like anything
Full from swallowing a filling
Pritt Stick all my teeth back in
I'll still be gappy, but might be happy
Watching the pot boil and wearing tin foil

[Verse 2]
I can't wear hats, I still get slagged
But got the alphabet in the bag
To remember it, I have to sing it
And no one ever joins in with
There's a point where I stopped being cute
There's a full stop on my youth
I guess it's when its I go to the dentist
To chew the ear off the unexpected

[Bridge]
In barbers' chair
They laugh at my hair

[Verse 3]
Over talking about wrestling
Over and over and over again
I gave up on general hygiene
Financial savings and exercising
He keeps asking why at them
What's a question? Is this a question?
Oh
[Refrain]
I can't wear hats, I just get slagged
I can dress up in plastic bags
For some reason, whatever the season
Bin liner fashion can look like anything
I can't wear hats, I still get slagged
Got the alphabet in the bag
To remember it, I have to sing it
And no one ever joins in with

[Outro]
Ahh
Ahh-ahh
Ahh
Ooh
Ahh
Ahh
Ahh, ugh
Ahh
Ahh-ahh