[Chorus]
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
I got these punchlines, don't put me at lunch time

[Verse 1]
Okay, look, I do jokey bits
So if you book me in the day you're a dopey twit
You must be sniffing glue and poker, smoking opioids
A lunch time show's so inappropriate
I don't mean to be a diva or appear to be rude
But if you book me in the day prepare to hear me get bood
And your students will already be in inferior moods
'Cause they've been eating your shitty cafeteria food

[Chorus]
So don't you put me on at lunch time, put me on at night time
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
I like that moonlight, I don't like that sunshine
I got this hunch, I'm less-funny at lunch time

[Verse 2]
At lunch time? That's not the on guys
Lunch time? That's when the fun dies
Don't you put me on that stage too soon after sunrise
My agent Scott thinks it's unwise
Night time, that's when my shows go
Night time, that's when my flows flow
Night time, you need to know:
If you rearrange the letters noon, it spells "no, no!"
Ask most comedians; we prefer to perform post meridian
And this song's close to finishin'
But here's that chorus once again for branding purposes
[Chorus]
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
Wanna do my thing at night time
I don't wanna do my thing at lunch time
Put me on at prime time, not a time that's un-prime
Party people in the place, say it with me one time!
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time
Put me on at night time, don't put me at lunch time

[Outro]
All that said, if you work in student-activities
I will perform at any time of day