(We hear the sounds of war as SCHMITZ, CADETS, and JOJO appear.)

[CADETS] (singing)
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ

[GENERAL GENGHIS KHAN SCHMITZ]
SOUND OFF!

[JOJO, & CADETS]
EGGS AND HAM!

[SCHMITZ]
SOUND OFF!

[JOJO, & CADETS]
SAM-I-AM!

[SCHMITZ, JOJO, & CADETS]
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS...

[SCHMITZ, JOJO, & CADETS] (spoken)
And ham!

[SCHMITZ]
We've arrived at the war, as I said that we would.
And war is a thing that does every boy good!
We will sleep in the trenches and go without supper
To make the world safe for each Butter Side Upper.
And we'll shoot every traitor and all out-of-towners
Who side with those bibulous Butter Side Downers!
Any questions?!
[JOJO]
Sir,
This war makes no sense.
Just one Think and you'd quit.
Spreading bread up or down
Doesn't matter a bit!
We've crashed in the clover!
There's no help in sight.
So why are you here
Teaching children to fight?

(SCHMITZ reacts as JOJO continues.)

And not only that, sir,
It's Christmas on Who!
I'd rather have Christmas than war, wouldn't you?

So here is my sword
And here is my hat.
I'm going home!
And that, sir, is that!

[SCHMITZ]
It's a minefield out there!
This is no time for play!
[JOJO]
Sir, I think what I think.
Now get out of my way!

(JOJO heads out, attempting to hop across a minefield.)

[SCHMITZ]
Soldier, you will obey!
You will halt!
JoJo, come back!
Son, wait!

(JOJO sways and begins to lose his balance. The sounds of gunfire grow louder. Suddenly, there is a loud explosion, a flash of light...and JOJO is gone.)

(TRANSITION. We hear a Christmas theme and we see the GRINCH on a small, rickety stage, surrounded by young WHOS in homemade angel wings. One of the young Whos plays MAX THE DOG. It's the annual Who Christmas celebration, even though there's a war on. The GRINCH is nearing the end of his familiar recitation.)