(GERTRUDE McFUZZ enters, carrying a small guitar.)

[GERTRUDE McFUZZ] (spoken)
"Love Song for Horton" Four Hundred and Thirty-Seven.

(GERTRUDE begins to play and sing.)

Doo doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo doo...

[GERTRUDE] (singing)
THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL BIRD NAMED GERTRUDE McFUZZ
AND SHE HAD THE SMALLEST PLAIN TAIL EVER WAS.
ONE DROOPY-DROOP FEATHER. THAT'S ALL THAT SHE HAD.
AND OH! THAT ONE FEATHER MADE GERTRUDE SO SAD.
SHE CURLED IT. SHE DYED IT.
SHE GAVE IT A PUFF.
SHE DECKED IT WITH FLOWERS
BUT IT WASN'T ENOUGH.
FOR NO MATTER WHAT,
IT JUST WAS WHAT IT WAS:
A TAIL THAT SIMPLY WASN'T MEANT
TO CATCH THE EYE OF AN ELEPHANT...
THE ONE FEATHER TAIL OF MISS GERTRUDE McFUZZ.

(Now, to a Latin beat, the glitzy MAYZIE LaBIRD and her BIRD GIRLS appear. They eye GERTRUDE with scorn and pity.)