[Verse]
Ophelia was a bride of God
A novice Carmelite
In sister cells the cloister bells
Tolled on her wedding night
Ophelia was the rebel girl
A bluestocking suffragette
Who remedied society
Between her cigarettes
And Ophelia was the sweetheart to
A nation overnight
Curvaceous thighs, vivacious eyes
Love was at first sight
Love was at first sight
Love...

[Verse]
Ophelia was a demi-goddess
In pre-war Babylon
So statuesque a silhouette
In black satin evening gowns
Ophelia was the mistress to
A Vegas gambling man
Signora Ophelia Maraschina
Mafia courtesan
Ophelia was the circus queen
The female cannonball
Projected through five flaming hoops
To wild and shocked applause
To wild and shocked applause
[Bridge]
Hey, hey eh-eh-eh-eh

[Verse]
Ophelia was a tempest, cyclone
A goddamn hurricane
Your common sense, your best defense
Lay wasted and in vain
Ophelia'd know your ev'ry woe
And ev'ry pain you'd ever had
She'd sympathize, dry your eyes
And help you to forget
And help you to forget
And help you to forget

[Verse]
Ophelia's mind went wandering
You'd wonder where she'd gone
Through secret doors, down corridors
She'd wander them alone
All alone...

[Outro: mostly unintelligible speech, in multiple languages]