The ugly tattooed swingers euphemise and call their mucky hobby "trysts,"
But if I saw another man touch you, I'd break his fucking wrists
Monogamy's not natural, we can't survive, that's what he'll say
He loves to swap, he's open-minded, but don't dare suggest he's gay

And maybe we're just lucky, maybe our connection is unique
And if that's really just what normal people do, aren't you proud to be a freak?

The so-called Dr. Gray's a billionaire because he's got the sexes sussed
We're a different race, we can't communicate and mind-games are a must
But if you need a man, just buy the book and follow all "The Rules,"
There's no-one quicker to splash out than vulnerable and desperate, lonely fools

Do you know enough to circle me a "yes"?
In just three minutes, can I suitably impress?
Why don't we ignore the whistle?
Just a look, a smile, a kiss'll tell you all you really need to know

And maybe we're just different
Maybe we're nature's surprise
So put down the book, log off and keep your wallet closed and just look me in the eyes