I used to be so proud of thinking I was such a liar
In the covert world of romance, brother, I was just a tryer
Woman was the enemy and victory the point
Where I'd successfully knocked someone's heart out of joint

And it's hilarious to think I thought by now I'd have a wife
But I've always been so desperate to give away my life
Then I just get lazy, I've got everything assumed
Sometimes there's nothing sexier than knowing that you're doomed

And I bet you got a fright
When you took that girl to bed
It was only your first night
When she grabbed your head and said

"Hey, look at me, hey, look at me
You don't love me, I can see
You just want me for some fun
I might as well be anyone"

I hope you'll reap the benefits of our ten years apart
But when I tell you not give a fuck, don't take it to heart
Try and be a gentleman and always tell the truth
I'm not just a hypocrite, I'm jealous of your youth

And I can't give you a lecture on how to be a man
I've not much advice to offer, no solid foolproof plan
But even though you're certain that it's just a bit of fun
He soon gets sick of micro-waving low-fat meals for one
So when you ignore her call
And you just delete her text
It might make you feel tall
As you make room for the next

But look at me, hey, look at me
You know I love you, obviously
And I don't want to spoil your fun
But you don't have to hurt someone