I had a vision of snow
Fall into footprints
I watched the winter whip
And bury everything

Off in the distance
Your figure drifting in mist
On pilgrimage and all alone

You were like a stone
Thrown in a river
Or in your pocket
I was the water
And I watched you tremble
Down into nothing
Sink like an anchor
You're failing
A phantom
A break in the bone
I will be the one who chases you out in the snow
Go where you tunnel down and the trouble starts
I will follow you out and carry all the pain away

I will be the one who follows you out in the flow
Go if the water swells drags you under
Know I will swallow it whole and carry all the pain away
Nights I wandered out
Head buried in my coat
Snow blowing in everything
Thick like smoke
I could feel the cold growing
How weather makes you hold things tight
On the way to buy us wine
Nights afraid to die

There is that phantom path carved in ghost steps sloped down
To a pond somehow still half-frozen
The evidence of struggle again so many years ago
Our first turn out to Lowell from home

The image returns to me
Again and again
(When will it leave?)

I was waiting for the anger to change
I was waiting for the anger to change
I was waiting for the anger to change
And the roof beams to bend
And give way under weight

I was waiting for the anger to change
I was waiting for the anger to change
I was waiting for the anger to change
And the roof beams to bend
And the whole thing to break
Chasing your pain
You were like a chain swung in anger
You're anxious
You're shaking
I know
The shape of your pain
Painted with the name on your shoulder blade
Never gets older or wakes

And I know the way
Down highways through Ada
To places you waited for friends who can't show

And I know your dreams
Of opening caskets
You shake in the mattress
You shake in the—