I said farewell to Erin, only seven years ago
When asked where I was headed, I said: "Jaysus, I dunno!?"
I stepped ashore near Bangalore, not a tosser in me hand
By the time I hit Darjeeling, I was feeling mighty grand!

Chorus:
You can keep your forty shades of green, they only make me blue
You can stick your eggs and bacon, boys, I'll have a Vindaloo
I found a place in India, so far across the foam
You can call me Punjab Paddy, boys, I'm never comin' home

I dreamed I got a letter from me darling Josephine
She asked me would I marry her, back home in Skibbereen
But the girls out here have almond eyes and jasmine-scented hair
And there's things in the Kama Sutra that they never do in Clare!
So I'll spend me days relaxing in me Punjab paradise
No more I'll dig the praties, I'll stick to tea and rice
I'll be sippin' mango lassi with the lassies in the shade
While yer man called Ravi Shankar plays "The Boys of the Oul' Brigade!"

Chorus:
You can keep your Miltown Malbay, you can chuck yer Galway Bay
You'll never see the sun go down on Delhi or Bombay
I found a place in India, so far across the foam
You can call me Punjab Paddy, boys, I'm never comin' home
From Bohola to Benares, Inchigeela to Lahore
Kamakura, Siliguri, Peshawar, Sahrunapore
Amritsar to Sanawar, Simla, and Pinjore
I got trolleyed on Dewali, and I'm going back for more!
Someday I'll be a holy man with saffron on me nose
I'll shave my head like Gandhi and I'll never wear no clothes
To see the Irish Guru, they'll come from near and far
Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Whiskey in the Jar!

Chorus:
You can keep your Michael Flatley with his tattoos on his chest
Fare thee well, Sweet Anna Liffey, it's the Ganges I love best
I found a place in India so far across the foam
You can call me Punjab Paddy, boys, I'm never comin' home
I'm never comin' home!
I'm never comin' home!