[Verse 1: Chorus]
Parking spaces' hard to find during Christmas season
Looking all around the lot some place you can squeeze in
When you finally find a place you'll be disappointed
It's set aside for handicapped, specially anointed

[Verse 2: Chorus, Soloist 1, Soloist 2]
This one's marked for compact cars, not my big rear-ender
Some Yugo owner's shopping cart scratched our Caddy's fender
Egad!
When that Beemer cuts in front, swerving while you linger
Peace on earth, goodwill to men; put down that middle finger!

[Skit: Husband and Wife]
Oh, look! He's waving at us!
Oh, hello my good man. Hello!
Hello!
Is he from the yacht club, dear?
I don't know. He's signalling something
No, no, you're number one! You're number one!
Oh, how lovely

[Verse 3: Chorus, Manager, Wife]
Parking spaces hard to find in the Christmas Season
All you do is drive around, no one's ever leavin'
When you finally reach the store your heart is filled with sorrow
They kill the lights and lock the doors
Sorry, we're closed up already
Try again tomorrow!
Oh, please let me in!
Sorry, lady
But I finally found a parking spot!
Really?
Come again tomorrow!
Congratulations!