It's hard to defend my carnivorous habits
Everyone's a veggie these days
Gotta watch what I eat and avoid the red meat
It's cloggin' up my arteries, I'm puttin' on weight
Last night I had a terrible dream
Woke me up right out of my sleep
But when I pulled into the drive-thru to grab that treat
Got a big warm bun and a bad piece of meat

Cheeseburger with parasites
It looked awful but somethin' ain't right
E. coli topped with an onion slice
I got a cheeseburger with parasites

Hidin' underneath the lettuce and tomato
A high-divin' act in my French-fried potatoes
Tummy's got a tickle and I'm feelin' queer
Well good God almighty, I got a bum steer

Cheeseburger with parasites
They're awful small but they're not very nice
Burger that rare is a roll of the dice
Could be a cheeseburger with parasites
I got a cheeseburger with parasites
Get me a cheeseburger with parasites
Hidin' underneath the lettuce and tomato
A high-divin' act in my French-fried potatoes
Clingin' to my pickle, it's a cold wet spear
Good God almighty, I got a bum steer