[Verse 1]
People have seen
Helicopters of elves
Darkening the skies
Swarming like flies
People have seen
Helicopters of elves
Sent by a squad
From the land of Nod

[Chorus]
There are reports
Dire reports
Inside the airport, outside the court
There are reports
Dire reports
Under the causeway, over the Fenway

[Post-Chorus]
You know what they'll do
And they'll do it again
I heard from a friend of a friend

[Verse 2]
People have seen
Legions of elves
Lights on their feet
Racing down streets
People have seen
Legions of elves
Stealthily marching
Fire-alarming
[Chorus]
There are reports
Dire reports
Outside of banks, standing on lamps
There are reports
Dire reports
Back of a bookshelf, top of a stairwell