When I was 103
It was a very good year
It was a very good year
For chorus girls

Named Cupcake O'Leary
I’d sit them on my knee
They were repelled by me
When I was 103

When I was the square root of a negative number
It was a very good year
It was a very good year
For dodecahedrons
In a state of quantum uncertainty

We would have sexual intercourse
While at the same time
We would not have sexual intercourse
When I was the square root of a negative number

When I was Maggie Thatcher
It was a very good year
It was a very good year
For cat fights
With Joey Heatherton
And the Trilateral Commission
We would pull each other's hair
It was a very good year