My uncle had a beer gut that weighed two hundred pounds
He used a wheelbarrow to haul it into town
They treat him like a king when he walks into Woody's bar
His beer gut pays for lights and heat and Woody's brand new car

Nudsie(?) got a beer gut that gets bigger every year
Since Nudsie gave up lifting weights and starting hoisting beers
He was lying on the beach one day; the sun kept getting hotter
Some say the Whale freaks came and dragged him back into the water

Chorus: Beer guts of America, stand up if you can...
Stick out your big beer gut and hoist a cool one in your hand
Your beer gut is your buddy, it's a friend who's always near
And all you ever have to do is feed it lots of beer!

Mungo drank a pony keg at Droopy Aho's wedding
His eyes went rolling round and round and then he started sweating
He tripped on Duck and Fuzz 'cause they were passed out on the floor
He landed on his beer gut and he bounced right out the door

I took my date into the sauna and on the bench we sat
She pointed and she said "I never seen one big as that"
She held it and she stroked it and she told me with a smile
"Body builders make me sick, but beer guts drive me wild"!

Chorus: Beer guts of America, stand up if you can...
Stick out your big beer gut and hoist a cool one in your hand
Your beer gut is your buddy, it's a friend who's always near
And all you ever have to do is feed it lots of beer!
(Repeat chorus)