When the winter's here and we're feeling blue
Me and Toivo we head for da Soo
He brings the pasties and I bring the beer
Just like we done for the last twenty years

We see those crazy racers on their snow machines
Racing to see who gets to kiss the queen
You won't get me on no snowmobile
I won't ride nothin' that don't have wheels

It's the I-500 that we come to see
The biggest event in the whole U.P
We stand around and pour beer in our face
At the I-500 snow machine race

There's Trolls and Cheeseheads and Yoopers too
From around the world we all come to the Soo
Those good ol' Canadians all come here
They're eating our pasties and we're drinking their beer

Those lumberjacks from all the way from Duluth
They look like Yoopers in their gold steel boots
Here come the guys from the TV news
I seen them last night throwing up on their shoes

It's the I-500 that we come to see
The biggest event in the whole U.P
We stand around and pour beer in our face
At the I-500 snow machine race
I go looking for Toivo at the end of the day
He musta got drunk and he wandered away
I find him frozen to the Porta-John seat
With a frozen beer and two frozen feet

It's the I-500 that we come to see
The biggest event in the whole U.P
We stand around and pour beer in our face
At the I-500 snow machine race
At the I-500 snow machine race