[Intro]
The band has stopped, the night is young
This bar is closed, but there'll be more to come
She whispered softly, "I don't wanna be alone
Can me and all my friends come back for cones?"

[Verse 1]
I called ahead, I felt so cheap
Just to make sure my grandma's sound asleep
I shoulda noticed that her look was kinda smug
She only wants me 'cause I've got the drugs

[Verse 2]
My mouth was dry, my knees were weak
She held my hand when we walked down the street
I didn't give a shit she got my first name wrong

[Refrain]
She only wants me for my Bucket Bong
She only wants me for my Bucket Bong

[Guitar Solo]

[Bridge]
Now we're at home, I'm feeling scared
'Cause there's no bucket, sink, or vessel anywhere
Now if she wants a bucket, I'll have the last laugh
She'll hafta have it with me in the bath
She'll hafta have it with me in the bath
[Outro]
She only wants me 'cause I got the drugs