Attention, sportsfans: listen up!
Our fearless leader is about to give his eulogy
But before we get started
There's just a couple things I wanna say
So just bear with me
I think you all know me, some of you as Robert
But most of you as Baby Fat
I've been working for Serpentello so long
I think I might be in the band
In all that time, I've never know Tommy Swank
To have a better friend than this guy
But though his heart is heavy, I know he's touched
That you're all here at his side
Now please remember
That though we're all grieving
We shouldn't ever lose sight
That this is meant to be a celebration
Of our dear departed friend's life
So are we gonna have fun tonight?!