Joanie and Johnny sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love, then comes marriage
Then comes Johnny in a baby carriage
Suckin' his thumb, wettin' his pants
Then he does the naked hula dance
Oh yeah

Let's go to Milwaukee
Say hi to Mr. C
Fonzie, Potsie, Richie too
Ralph's at Arnold's sniffing glue
Joanie, Joanie loves Johnny
Joanie and Johnny kiss
Chachi is getting pissed
These aren't very happy days
'Cause nobody's getting laid
Joanie, Joanie loves Johnny

Go go go!
Go go go!

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8
Go!

[Guitar lead]
Now Jenny Piccolo works at a peep show
Pinky Tuscadero's stewed
Fonzie's all fucked up on 'ludes
Joanie, Joanie loves Johnny
Joan and Johnny got tattoos
Now they're going to
Inspiration Point, that's where
We're all shooting heroin
Joanie, Joanie loves Johnny

1-2-3-4
Go!

Go go go!
Go go go!