Adam Mansbach
You Have to Fucking Eat
The sunrise is golden and lovely
The birds chirp and twitter and tweet
You woke me and asked for some breakfast
So why the fuck won′t you eat?
The bunnies are munching on carrots
The lambs nibble grasses and bleat
I know you're too hungry to reason with but
You have to fucking eat
Ha ha ha haaaaaa
Your cute little tummy is rumbling, I know
And pancakes are your favorite treat
I'm kind of surprised that you suddenly hate them
That′s bullshit! Stop lying and eat!
The sloth and the lemur, the chipmunk and cheetah
The slow and the sleek and the fleet
Sharе one thing, my love: They makе less of a mess
Than you fucking do when they eat!
You're not finished, and NO! You can't go to school!
In pajamas, a hat and bare feet!
Whatever, Put shoes on and bring me your plate
My whole diet′s the shit you won’t eat
I hope you know it′s super special, okay?
To go to a restaurant—HEY! Back in your seat!
Are you shitting me?! This whole menu's crap to you?!
But a roll on the floor—THAT you′ll eat
Yum! This looks great! Five big bites, my darling!
Fine! Three! But don't try to cheat!
A lot of kids don′t get asparagus!
Show some fucking respect for them! EEEEEAAAAAA...
Oh, now you're hungry?! Tough shit! Kitchen′s closed!
Have some warm milk. For me a SCOTCH, neat!
Pancakes?! Yeah, right! It's bedtime, child!
It’s too goddamn late now to eeaattt
Okay, one pancake and that’s it
You’re exhausting and I'm fucking beat
And tomorrow we've got to rise early as roosters
To fight more about what to eat
I’m pretty sure that you′re malnourished!
And scurvied. My failure’s complete!
But on the bright side, maybe this is the NIIIIIIIIGHT!
You′ll... go... the... fuck... to... sleeeeep
OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!