Well, twirl my turban, man alive
Here comes Mister Five by Five
He's one of those big, fat, bouncin' boys
Solid avoirdupois

Mister Five by Five
Five feet tall and he's five feet wide
He don't measure no more from head to toe
Than he do from side to side

Mister Five by Five
Got fifteen chins and a line of jive
He's a mellow old cat, a real hep fat
He be Mister Five by Five

That man can really jump it for a fat man
The only trouble is there's no way of knowin'
Whether he's comin' or goin'

Mister Five by Five
He's slightly plump on the solid side
He don't shake it no more from head to toe
Than he do from side to side

He's Mister Five by Five