I wanna be a dog, wanna wag my tail
Chase cars and knock over garbage cans
Bite the man who brings the mail

I wanna be a dog, wanna lie on the floor
Chase squirrels and cats, get fed, get fat
Chew your shoe and bark at the door

I wanna be a dog, wanna dig big holes
Sniff trees and ground and basset hounds
And pee on telephone poles

I wanna be a dog, wanna drool all around
Scratch fleas and ticks and run after sticks
I just wanna be a hound

I wanna be a dog, wanna roll in the dirt
Wanna run in the street, get mud on my feet
And jump up onto your shirt

I wanna have dog breath, wake the neighbors too
I'll lick your hand, be the best friend to man;
I've got nothing better to do

I wanna be a dog, I want my nose to be wet
I've got a college degree now all I wanna be
Is somebody else's pet