Don't put your finger up your nose
'Cause your nose knows that's not the place it goes
You can sniffle, you can sneeze
But I'm asking you--please--
Don't put your finger up your nose

Don't stick your finger in your ear
'Cause then your ear will find it hard to hear
You can thump and you can tug it
But please don't plug it--
Don't stick your finger in your ear

Don't put your finger in your eye
That's not a thing I think you oughta try
You can blink it, you can wink it
But I don't think it
Would be good to put your finger in your eye

And don't stick your finger down your throat
'Cause that will just make you start to choke
Then up will come your dinner
And you'll start to look much thinner
So don't stick your finger down your throat

Don't put your finger up your nose
'Cause your nose knows that's not the place it goes
You can sniffle, you can sneeze
But I'm asking you--please--
Don't put your finger up your nose