Mai Tai say that I'm Old Fashioned
Très Vin ordinaire
That I want a fresh Manhattan
With white Anglo-Saxons everywhere?
A Black Russian's no Pink Lady
Give her the Singapore sling
And Moscow mule is not your baby
So Highball the Vodka and name your sting!
Be a Big shot with a Bull shot
Be a Schwein Mit der Wein!
Have a short or a Port
Or a snort of any sort
Asti spumante, uno Chianti are divine!

I got some economic Hocks
A Gin and tonic on the rocks
Where angels fear to tread, I say
"Choose your booze! Let's hit the Red eye!"
Think of young Deanna Durbin
And how she sung on Rum and Bourbon
Or enhance your luncheon hour
With a Planter's Punch and a Whiskey sour
If you feel like a wreck, try a Horse's Neck
Or a Sherry with a cherry in the new fun size

If you don't name your poison
I'll have to get the boys in
The spirit of adventure opens one's eyes!
If you don't name your poison
I'll have to get the boys in
And you'll never see another Tequila Sunrise!
Live happily ever after
With a Chablis and some laughter
"Between the Sheets" is lovely
With a dizzy blonde and a bottle of bubbly!
There's nothing sicker in society
Than a lack of liquor and sobriety
So, down the hatch, here's mud in your eye
Take a bracer with a chaser, wash it down with Rye!
Bottoms up!, Stirrup cup!
It'll put you in the pink, and all you have to do is

Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!
Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!
Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!
Drink, drink, drink, drink, driii-ink!

Driiiink!
Driiiink!