[Verse 1]
We went out on a double date
Me and Edith, you and Kate
Before we got past their front gate
There you were making eyes at Edith
While you were making time with Kate

[Refrain]
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you, yodel-a-dio

[Verse 2]
Then we went to a drive in a show
You were kissing on Kate, she wouldn't let you go
I looked at Edith, started feeling bold
I found your big hairy hand holding on
To the hand I was trying to hold

[Refrain]
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you, yodel-a-dio

[Verse 3]
Edith asked me if I would
Get her some popcorn, I said I would
When I got back dad-blame if you
Hadn't crawled into the backseat with
Edith and Kate was back there too
[Refrain]
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you, yodel-a-dio

[Verse 4]
Years have passed since that first date
I married Edith, you married Kate
Now every night when I come home
Your car's in the driveway, Kate's in the car
And you and Edith are in the house alone

[Refrain]
You can't have your Kate and Edith too
You rascal you, yodel-a-dio

[Outro]
(Man, you gotta understand)
(You can't have your Kate and Edith too)