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Half Man Half Biscuit
The Song Of Encouragement For The Orme Ascent

Well, I just cycled in to the
Pine floored living room
Pissed on the mystics
Scoffed at the Hockney
Took all the road signs
Back to the council
Put my foot through the TV
Not that they’d notice
Winced at the film trivia
Book at the bog-side
Burst all the bean bags
Smoked all the French fags
Hey Mr. Gauloises
Ou est le hubcaps?

I scream, you scream
We all scream for I Ching
And spag bol and soul mates
And Persian cats
There’s a ghost with a conscience
A fridge full of nonsense
Here’s to your world view
The one in which you
Feel there should be a
Saxophone in the corner
Say that again
And I’ll generalise ya