[Verse 1]
Well, my throat was dry and it was a-gettin' late
I was at this bar on an interstate
When a guy with this bird on his shoulder walked through the door, yeah
He proceeded to tell me the wildest thing
He said, "Sir, this bird of mine can sing
Like no other bird you have ever heard before"
Well, I kinda looked at the guy and said, "Oh, really?"
He turned to the bird and said "Do ol' Willie"
When the bird started, singing I almost fell in the floor

[Chorus]
Whiskey river, take my mind
Don't let her memory torture me
Whiskey river, don't run dry
You're all I've got, take care of me

[Interlude]
Well, if that ain't the darndest thing

[Verse 2]
Well, I thought, "Son, what a heck of a thing
A man could get rich making that bird sing"
And I could feel this wild idea comin' on strong
And besides, I'm sittin' here with two weeks pay
And I'd probably blow it all on beer anyway
Then he said "Hey, wait 'til you hear him sing like George Jones"
[Chorus]
He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
Soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today

[Verse 3]
I said, "Well, that does it, sir
Yep, I'd like to buy that bird, would, uh
Five hundred dollars take him off your hands, huh?"
Well, he thought for a while and he said, "Alright"
And handed me the bird and he said, "Goodnight"
He counted my money and out the door he ran

[Verse 4]
Well, I was thinkin' I'd found the rainbow's end
That the money would soon be pouring in
When suddenly the bird just flew out the door and was gone
Well, then it hit me, and I got boilin' mad
'Cause I knew right then that I'd been had
And as he flew out into the night he was signing this song

[Chorus]
On the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again (Somebody stop that bird)
The life I love is making money with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again (My bird)
I just can't wait to get on the road again (My five hundred dollars)
The life I love is making money with my friends (Oh)
And I can't wait to get on the road again (Somebody get me a BB gun)
[Outro]
On the road again (I want that bird)
I just can't wait to get on the road again (This is for the birds)
The life I love is making money with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again (Buy me a drink somebody)
On the road again (Hey, come back here, bird)
I just can't wait to get on the road again