Well it was midnight cold and rainy
In the sleepy town of Fairburn population small
An angry man stood out on Main Street
Shiverin' in his coat sleeves by the City Hall wall
Thumbin’ every car that’s passed him in for an hour
But they wouldn't look at him at all

So he yelled damn you friends and neighbors you won't give me a ride
My feet are sore from walking and I'm froze to my inside
Lord a man could catch his death of cold or a severe case of flu
Thanks to friends and neighbors like you

Well he come storming into my restaurant
Dripping water soakin’ wet in a freezing cold
I poured him a hot black cup of coffee took his coat off cussing mad
And here's a tale that he told
Said I picked up a young hitchhiker
Took my billfold and my car and let me off down the road

Well I must have walked for hours to get here
Went to see your friendly sheriff in my desperation
He just sit there and picked his teeth
Laughed a little when I told him of my situation
And when I finished he leaned back and belched
Said let me see some identification
Cause he said damn you friends and neighbors seems like every Saturday night
I get an earful of this same old bull cause some drunk gets off half tight
Every weekend's the same old story don't get home till one or two
Thanks to friends and neighbors like you

Well I called your sheriff a dirty name
Then was thrown out through his front door by a big deputy
I hit that sidewalk cussin' shook my fist back in his face
Said you can't do this to me
Cause I'm a circuit judge for Monroe sheriff
And you gonna pay for all this indignity

Well I've seen some angry people
But I never seen a man as mad as that fellow was
He said I never did like Fairburn I hate the rain I hate hitchhikers
And I'm sick of your local fuss
And if I ever saw a town that needs another sheriff
This is one town that does

And he yelled damn these friends and neighbors as he grabbed his coat to leave
Well this night I spent in Fairburn just too funny to believe
Lord I could write a book of jokes about what I've been through
In this town of friends and neighbors like you