[Spoken Intro: Grant-Lee Phillips]
All the windows were dark
No one knew he was there
All the Who's were all dreaming
Sweet dreams without care

[Verse 1: Aimee Mann]
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel

[Verse 2: Aimee Mann]
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch
I wouldn't touch you, with a
Thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole

[Spoken Interlude: Grant-Lee Phillips]
All I need is a reindeer!
So he took his dog Max, and he took some black thread
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head
Then the Grinch said, "Giddyup!" and the sleigh started down
To the homes where the Who's lay a-snooze in their town
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed
As he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist
Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant
Around the whole room, and he took every present
Pop-guns! Pompanoos! Pantookas and drums! Checkerboards! Mistle-binks! Popcorn and plums!
And he stuffed them in bags
Then the Grinch very nimbly stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney
[Verse 3: Aimee Mann, Grant-Lee Phillips]
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch
You're a nasty, wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk
Mr. Grinch
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

[Verse 4: Aimee Mann and Grant-Lee Phillips (Grant-Lee Phillips only)]
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
With a nauseous super-naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch
You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce