My wife took all the money, left me for a cop
And I don't know nobody in this coffee shop
I'm starin' at the menu board, waitin' in a line
With ten bucks on my Starbucks card and one thing on my mind

Is there wireless in heaven? I just wanna know
Do I need a password to log in when I go?
And does Jesus have a website to send in my e-mail?
Is there wireless in heaven, or do I go to hell?

I order mocha latte ginger jasmine tea
The pretty little cashier girl looks up and smiles at me;
She says "it is an honor", she knows who I am
Her grandpa plays the guitar and he's my biggest fan

Is there wireless in heaven? I just wanna know
Do I need a password to log in when I go?
And does Jesus have a website to send in my e-mail?
Is there wireless in heaven, or do I go to hell?

I'm cosmically connected, spiritually aware
They say I'm apathetic, but I don't really care
Pathetically reflective, feeling over-matched
I wanna meet my maker with no wires attached

Is there wireless in heaven? I just wanna know
Do I need a password to log in when I go?
Tell me will Jesus answer my e-mail?
Is there wireless in heaven, or do I go to hell?
Is there wireless in heaven, or do I go to hell?