Five in the morning, she would fix my lunch
Put it in a paper sack
Where I'm headed, I always appreciate it
But I’d rather stay married to my hack

I move like the breeze and the birds and the bees
That I've never been known to look back
I got fifteen women and all of them swimming
But I'd rather stay married to my hack

I move fifteen miles every minute, I'm all smiles
I shoot by my sister's shack
She's got some friend who waves at men, a fine little hen
But I'd rather stay married to my hack

I got twelve-wheel drive and an oversized hive
And air-cooled brakes in the back
Candy McGraft's always good for a laugh
But I'd rather stay married to my hack

I got a pedal to hit and an engine that won't quit
And a carburetor that won't crack
Maureen and Milly, they're a little silly
But there's nothing that they do lack

I got loose-eyed ladies who never seen a man
Just waiting around the back
Gimme a bottle or someone to throttle
'Cause I'd rather stay married to my hack