I been to Texas Hell
A place I know so well
Ten gallons to a hat
And everything is flat
Where all the angels fell
I been to Texas Hell

I crossed the Texas line
I didn't see the sign
The water turned to wine
The girls stopped on a dime
Thought everything was fine
When I crossed the Texas line

I been in Texas lost
I didn't mind the cost
The badlands walked across
The Sun my only Boss
I burned up in the frost
I been in Texas lost

Heaven any other place
Ain't half as good as Hell down South
So listen what I'm telling you
It's coming from the horse's mouth
So when the boatman let's you in
Just say the Devil's your best friend
I been to Texas Hell
Guitars rang like a bell
The Dos Equis tasted swell
The ladies all do tell
I bought all they would sell
I been to Texas Hell